Or, you might notice someone’s profile lists tons of dating deal breakers and declarations like “don’t message me if you’re into ghosting.” This suggests they might not be in a positive headspace for a healthy relationship, according to Wood. Wood also encourages clients to develop “a keen eye for what people are ‘saying’ behind what they’re saying.” For example, late-night DMs that just say “ur gorgeous” likely won’t lead to anything productive if you’re seeking candidates for a serious relationship, she says.
“That’s going to attract all sorts of people, some of which you might not want.” “I see a lot of bios that are extremely vague-it’s like, ‘Here’s a couple of photos of me I’m looking to meet new people!’” she says. In other words, you don’t need to be some perfect version of yourself to find a romantic or hookup partner-that’s an unrealistic goal for all of us!-but an awareness of your past romantic challenges and relationship patterns will likely set you up for a better experience.Īnother question you might want to ask yourself: “How can I maximize the time I’m putting into the dating app game?” Tennesha Wood, dating coach and founder of The Broom List matchmaking agency for Black professionals, tells SELF that it’s important to communicate exactly what type of connection you’re looking for in your profile so you don’t waste time weeding through people who aren’t on the same page.
“People will often go on dating apps and they’re not really working on themselves-yet they’re hoping to meet someone who has done all of this inner work and is this amazing person,” Johnson says.
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